Screaming Tom

State of GayMarriageMarch - February 22, 2004 (long and must read)

Hi!

Just wanted to give a status of the group - GayMarriageMarch.

1) The goal to build membership is going well. We are up to 185
members in 2 weeks. That shows people are interested and want to get
involved.

2) The bad news is people are not getting involved. It's great to
have a group online where people can interact, but activists need to
get in the street and make things happen. This may involve
confronting some people and questioning other people's (or group's)
motives. We need to get in the trenches and make things happen.

A few people have emailed the press release to groups and news
organizations - but we need to start networking with other groups
and getting on the phone and in person with political leaders.

I do realize a lot of the group is new to activism and that's why we
are here - to help. Don't be shy!

3) National groups are doing nothing, period. I know of 3 or 4
national groups working on the gay marriage issue and the most they
are doing is trying to elbow each other out of the way of the
camera. For shame, for shame! These groups are paid to fight for our
rights and they are doing nothing more than perpetuating their own
existence. If a group isn't saying "we are trying to put ourselves
out of a job", then they aren't. And trust me, none are.

HRC is promoting a new Christmas ornament for their new $10 million
building.

DontAmend.com and MCC are doing photo ops with Gloria Allred - of
all people to be seen with!?!? And DontAmend is harassing Mary
Cheney - like she will ever do anything? Where's the activism?

I never know where the NGLTF stand on any issue!

The local marriage groups seem to be doing well. California has is
going on with MECA - even though I haven't seen them on the news.
They may need some PR help from GLAAD. Arnold is reading a script
and diverting the issue to him getting elected as president one day.
We need a script of our own.

Georgia has already started to show cracks in organization. Georgia
Equality is known for turf wars and working with HRC doesn't help in
that area. It's HRC/GE - or nothing!

Massachusetts is doing well, in spite of the LGBT in-fighting.

That is where we come in. Why let national organizations fight our
battles when they fight each other? We need to take the bull by the
horns and make things happen ourselves.

The LGBT community DOES NOT have an MLK to lead them and that is one
of our biggest problems. There is no leadership from the top so we
need to make leadership from the bottom-up.

There is no "gay agenda" other than people trying to live their
lives in peace and prosperity. Equal rights is all we are asking
for - but there are people in the world who make a living out of
fighting against that basic premise - both straight and gay. The
egos, book tours and meet-and-greets need to move out of the way and
let real activism happen!

Another main problem with the gay community is the lack of
oversight - just put out a "gay" shingle and people think you are
legitimate. Throw in a board and advisory council and you are
genuine. (See Freedom To Marry) Well, that doesn't fly with me and I
want everyone to examine the groups in this country who "think" they
represent the LGBT community and ask them why - and who do they
think they are. They weren't appointed by "Harvey Milk" and what
gives them the right to speak for us?

Who can lead the LGBT community? Not me - I have more baggage that
Madonna going to Europe. But I care and I will not give up until I
see some progress made. The LGBT community is very fractured and it
is always hard to get a consensus on any issue.

But the key here would be start a movement in your local community
and let it bubble up to other levels.

It amazes me to see how unorganized most communities are in this
country. I understand people have different priorities but I see
only 3 communities who have their shit together in this whole
country and I would like to see more.

Atlanta is a good example. I have live there for 20 years and have
seen the ups and downs in the community - usually standing on the
front line to defend it.

But in-fighting and ineffective organizations can tear down any
progress made leaving a community at square one. Atlanta is a
disaster because the few people of authority banded together and
want to run the community through HRC and Georgia Equality - not
allowing anyone else to participate. That wastes many activists who
could learn and grow because they are disgusted by the process and
have no other venue to grow. I'm sure this happens in other
communities.

4) We need to band together and form a better system. The religious
right has the model tuned to a "T" and they are very organized. The
LGBT community is not. Yes, we can line up on a street once a year
and march in a straight line flaunting our sexuality, but that only
shows how stupid the LGBT community is. Gays and lesbians are out
all year long and the effect of a Pride parade is lost at this
point. It is so common now that Coors is sponsoring the Atlanta
Pride event for the last 3 years and will be this year - go figure.
I call these people "sheeple"! It's like a scene out of "1984" where
people are programmed to behave the way society wants them to! You
can blow off steam once a year and straight people (and the press)
will try to avoid the parade, but keep your sexuality hidden the
rest of the year!

5) The Internet has changed the world. We no longer have to fax news
stories from GLAADLine to people - we search the web and email news
stories instantly. One of the ways large groups keep people under
their thumb is by hording information. It is a power they are losing
with the average gay and lesbian getting news alerts from Google the
second they happen. Gays and lesbians can congregate online in chat
rooms and virtual communities like Yahoo! Groups to exchange
information and plan the revolution - it is not just in the hands of
a few people in a $10 million building in DC.

But we haven't gotten our gripe yet and are still struggling to find
our way.

This group is a good start and I want to see people standing up to
the current power structures and let them know we are here to help
and lead the way!

Tom Dempsey

posted by Tom Dempsey @ 2/24/2004 0 comments

Audit: Atlanta Hedged Crimes in '96 Bid

Several voting members of the Federation of Gay Games emailed me saying this story was shocking since the crime rate in Atlanta was one of the major issues for not selecting Atlanta as the host city for the 2006 Gay Games. One said "this is the icing on the cake."

Tom Dempsey

-----Original Message-----
From: Tom Dempsey [mailto:tom@tdempsey.com]
Sent: Friday, February 20, 2004 4:27 PM
To: QueerAtlanta
Subject: [QueerAtlanta] Audit: Atlanta Hedged Crimes in '96 Bid


[And we still ranked at the top! - Moderator]

Audit: Atlanta Hedged Crimes in '96 Bid

By MARK NIESSE, Associated Press Writer

ATLANTA - Atlanta underreported crimes for years to help land the 1996 Olympics and pump up tourism, according to an audit commissioned by police and released Friday.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&e=7&u=/ap/20040220/ap_on_re_us/atlanta_police_audit

posted by Tom Dempsey @ 2/21/2004 0 comments

Action Alert: Same-Sex Marriage as Civil Disobedience

Time to be heard!

As you may have seen, San Francisco, CA has been marrying people over the last week and now Bernalillo, NM has started marrying same-sex couples today. While this may not be legally valid in the future, it is amazing to see cities standing up for gays and lesbians and allowing these marriages go forward.

So why hasn't other cities taken this step?

It is time to ask mayors and city officials to step up to the plate and allow gays and lesbians to marry in their cities this week. I am asking people to start calling their mayors and city officials, and let them know we need their support in this turning point in history.

Let gays and lesbians get married today!

Tom Dempsey
Moderator - GayMarriageMarch

posted by Tom Dempsey @ 2/21/2004 0 comments

All presidential candidates support civil unions - but not marriage

I got a press release from DontAmend.com today urging Kerry and the other Democratic candidates to support same-sex marriage.

Well, that's a noble idea and the gay marriage train is almost at the station in Massachusetts. Even the Religious Right agrees gay marriage will happen. But there will be people in the country who don't agree with the decision and Republicans will use it as a wedge issue. All the candidates support civil unions but not marriage - even Dubya. So that makes the question of gay marriage a non-issue in the election if everyone agrees.

I have to disagree with Robin Tyler's statement that "Democratic Presidential Candidates need to stop hedging on this issue." Why set themselves up to lose votes in a tight race.

Let the courts decide the issue and if Congress wants to pass a constitutional amendment - we fight it tooth-and-nail over the next 5 years. But the prize this year is the presidential election and Dubya must go!

Keep everyone in the middle!

posted by Tom Dempsey @ 2/04/2004 0 comments

Gay Games 2006 Prediction

The bids are in, the emails are flying - it's time to pick the 2006 Gay Games host city - again!

I'll save the world the wait - it will be Chicago over Los Angeles. What I find interesting is the dates proposed for the Games - July 15-22, 2006 - compared to Montreal's July 29 - August 5, 2006. This looks like war. I'm almost surprised Chicago didn't plan the event during the same week as Montreal's - but what's a week.

Chicago has a very good bid compared to Los Angeles (umm - of what I can see from LA). The Chicago plan is online and in the Windy City News (with nice letters about questions about even trying to host the event). As most people know, the Games have never made a profit in recent history and I don't see this one doing any better unless Showtime or a new gay TV channel pays to televise the semi-snoozer. The entertainment has been nixed but I know from experience the parties don't work during the Games and some outside fool will try anyway. I suggest one major party at the end.

The 2006 Gay Games should not be missed since it may be the last one in its present form. The Federation is in melt-down and the viability of producing Gay Games in the future will be questioned. Of course, the Federation can blame Montreal and the short time frame for Chicago if it fails.

I have a suggestion here. The Federation of Gay Games should only produce US-based games in the future and let the new sports organization host international events. That way everybody has an event and can be happy. It works for me!

I'll repeat one thing from last month - Atlanta did ONE thing right by not bidding for round 2 - even if it looks like they made the decision. Ray Hom is not one to take losing anything and I'm sure he was chomping at the bits to redeem himself. But a) Atlanta didn't have a chance for round 2, and b) the 2006 Gay Games will be a likely disaster bringing embarrassment to the host city.

posted by Tom Dempsey @ 2/04/2004 0 comments

Atlanta Pride & Coors

I see Atlanta Pride renewed its sponsorship with Coors for 2004. The initial agreement was 3 years ending with 2003 so I believe Pride made the unfortunate decision to renew.

This is still a huge mystery since Donna Narducci won't talk about it and the Atlanta community turns a blind eye on the situation.

At least ID Lubricants is a sponsor so Atlanta will be easier to screw this year!

posted by Tom Dempsey @ 2/04/2004 0 comments

The Gay Super Bowl

The Gay Super Bowl

Today was the Super Bowl (no, not the Academy Awards - the Super Bowl for queers) and I watched bits and pieces including the last 10 minutes.

I wasn't totally into the game even though I grew up in South Carolina and had a regional stake into the outcome. So no 60 minutes and Simpsons on Sunday - so my whole week is off now.

Having cable, I looked at the guide for the evening and was a little surprised. "Queer Eye' was having a marathon on NBC and Bravo - and Bravo was doing a "Gay Wedding" marathon later. You know, that show nobody watched. (Queer As Folk may have been on but I physically block it from my brain.)

Checking out HBO and Showtime, had the usual gay shows - Sex and the City and the L Word - so no big surprise. I never miss either. But there was Margaret Cho on Showtime (several) times, "Minority Report" and an Ellen special is on HBO2, "Notting Hill" was on ABC and there you go. Even the other movie channels had Monster Ball, Life As A House and In The Bedroom with the pretty boys to watch.

Once was the day when networks would "counter program" against the Super Bowl for women by putting chick flicks on (Sister Act, Notting Hill and The Bachelor) but is seems the networks are also counter programming for the gay audience! As if being gay automatically means gays and lesbians do not like sports. Read: stereotype.

Not trying to be picky, but I am offended!

I like sports but I don't love it like a straight man. I played basketball in high school and I'm a champion table tennis player. Hell, I started the bid for the 2006 Gay Games for Atlanta. I know many gays and lesbians who live sports every weekend and there are gay sports bar. So where is the stereotype coming from?

The Academy Awards. It is usually referred to as the "Gay Super Bowl" and maybe for good reason. Elton has a party every year and hordes of gays line up in front of the television and have get-togethers. But so does 3 BILLION other people in the WORLD. If anything, the Oscars should be called the "World's Super Bowl."

So what are the networks thinking. It is a well known fact more and more women are watching the Super Bowl due to the party atmosphere and shared cultural experience. I suppose the networks are looking for another audience not associated with sports - and bingo - they think homosexuals.

The fact the networks cater to this idea is repulsive. Is there marketing data to support this theory? Or is it the idea homosexuals are limp-wristed and unathletic? Sounds like perpetuating a stereotype, in my opinion.

Tom Dempsey

posted by Tom Dempsey @ 2/01/2004 0 comments